Tag Archives: coaching

Bring Your Life into Balance

The ability to find and maintain balance in your life is a skill. Some people may be more or less skilled at keeping up with all the responsibilities in their lives than you are. If you already feel pretty good about this, you probably can share this article with someone who may need it more than you. If you feel overwhelmed, and not sure how to keep it all running smoothly, then you’re in luck. Finding and maintaining balance is a skill, and because it’s a skill, you can learn or improve it. It’s also a habit. and once you learn a new habit, it gets easier and easier to keep it up. Ready?

beamazingSimplifying life is the easiest way to find and maintain balance. This means finding ways to streamline all areas of your life, so you are not using all your time and energy in only one or two areas to the detriment of others. For instance, you may be working long hours at work, and continuing to work once you get home. As a result, your relationships with family, friends, and your physical health may start to suffer.

It’s like the Plate Spinner at the circus. Perhaps he is capable of successfully spinning 6 plates at once. He starts with one, gets it going smoothly and adds another, and another until all 6 are aloft. Each requires minimal periodic attention to keep it going.

If he skips a plate, or spends more time on another than necessary, the others start to wobble, and eventually fall. Life is like spinning plates. You have your work, your home, your relationships, your physical needs, your spiritual needs, your social responsibilites, and perhaps others.

Take a quick look at how you utilize your time each day, and week to get a glimpse of how many plates you successfully have spinning. This is not to make you feel inadequate if you have only one or two up in the air. It is just to help you determine if some of the plates-or life areas- which aren’t spinning are keeping you off-balance. You’ll notice if you find yourself getting frustrated or angry about situations which you wouldn’t have before, or are feeling tired, out of shape, lonely or unhappy with work or life in general.

Simplifying life then is to find a way to include the missing relationships or needs. To find a way to spin a couple more plates will require you to spend less energy on the one that demands too much time. This could mean finding ways to delegate responsibilities, or saying no to nonessential requests, or combining activities that can spin plates in more than one area. For instance, taking a walk with a spouse or friend  adds relationship and physical value to your life. Enlisting help at work can be social as well as working. Make a list of some activities commitments you can drop, and some ways to combine your life areas.

Simplifying life is like cleaning out your closet. Get rid of the stuff you don’t need and doesn’t suit or fit you. Keep only the things which you love. You and your closet will have more space to fill with the activities which make you feel fulfilled and happy.

 Get simplified, and enjoy more…life.


Move Forward

 

The definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over and expect different results. Gets you nowhere fast. It stands to reason then, that if you want different things to happen this new year, like losing weight or making more money, you will have to take different actions to meet those goals.

The best thing about your past, is that you can look at it with objective eyes and learn a lot about what was successful for you, and what was not so much. You’ve heard that people who don’t understand history are doomed to repeat it. This is very true, so your purpose for looking back is to learn from your mistakes, and figure out how not to repeat them.

Now you can use this new insight to move forward to more success. What have you done in the past that worked well for you? How can you use this to further your success for losing weight? What have you done that kept you stuck? How can you replace that with a new action? Ask friends for suggestions, if you have none. They know you and will probably have great ideas to try out.

You may also want to look into Coaching as an option. A Life Coach is someone who works with you to keep you focused and accountable to your Action Plan. It could make the difference between repeating your goals for next year, or moving on to new ones. What could your life look like if you met all your goals? Think about it…

This month the topic is Goal Setting. If you haven’t already read the article in the last newsletter “Making Your Plan for Success”, I highly recommend you do that ASAP. If you don’t set goals for your life, you end up being swept along with the current and whatever problems, crises, distractions cross your path.


How Do You Present Yourself to the World? Part 1

 

This is not something we generally think about. Or even think that we need to consider. But it is a critical question to spend some time on.

You may have heard others talk about people in terms of their ‘business persona’ or their ‘outside of work persona’, which may be radically different. Or you may also have heard people describe the masks or the hats that they wear in reference to their different roles and the face to the world that each may require. Does it seem strange to you that there should be a difference?

I used to feel that there was a clear shift in my demeanor when I put my mom hat on, versus when I was away from my family. When my kids were younger, I didn’t put much thought into this, but as they got older I started to wonder why I would choose to act so differently. With my kids, I felt as if I had to be ‘on’ and in charge of making sure everything got done and nobody got lost, or hurt. I felt like I was missing the enjoyment I allowed myself when I wasn’t wearing my mom hat.

It wasn’t that I didn’t enjoy doing things with my kids, but that always in the back of my mind was the feeling that I had to remain vigilant, and not let myself relax in the moment. Looking back, I realize this perhaps  robbed me of some of the joy of raising three fantastic kids.So, somewhere about twelve years into the process I decided not to be so strict with myself. Obviously as a parent I worry that I am doing my best, but I do not want to worry so much as to not live and enjoy the rest of my life. I was wearing my mom hat almost exclusively.

Having multiple hats or masks to wear and keep straight can be exhausting, and really when you think about it, not very authentic. Part of the energy drain comes from trying to juggle all the hats and keep straight the behaviors, vocabulary, and presentation that each one calls for.At work, it isn’t always best to share personal stories, and most people talk and act very differently there than at home or when hanging out with friends. At home, it may be OK to drink out of the milk carton (except at my house), but not at a friend’s house. Seems pretty simple, but is it? Consider this…

Have you ever met someone who seems so real, authentic and comfortable in their skin that it flows into all that they do. When you work with them, or meet them outside work you get the same person? And you feel safe, that whatever they say or do is because they meant to do or say it? How awesome does it feel to be around someone who greets life from who they are inside?I know I am inspired when I spend time with people like this. It doesn’t always mean we agree on everything, but that as a person, we are both respected and acknowledged. This is a person who has hung up the hats and put away the masks. And has so much less clutter in life as a result. This is a person who will say no if the request isn’t right, and you are appreciative of their honesty.This is a person who can command the attention of a room without saying a word, because they live and speak from the place within that is their truth. This person would naturally do the same thing no matter where or with whom they are.

Personas, then, seem necessary when we are not sure who we want to be, or when what we spend our time doing does not mesh with who we really are. This leads to feelings of discontent and longing for something else, even if we can’t quite put our finger on what that is. If that is you right now, it may be time to do some soul searching for those activities and people who make you feel alive and useful. It’s the way we were created, to do something in the world which means something- if even only to ourselves.

For now, let your thoughts run wild as you consider what it means to be YOU. Next time, we will follow up with what to do to help you clear your vision and combine some of your hats.